Friday, April 12, 2013

What ha... happened? - April edition Part Two


What ha... happened? - April edition Part Two
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (4-12-13)

[Part One - The Eli Manning Face]



We scour the internet for crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: opening statements. Friday: rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?



TODD:
I present to you the following:

Photo: The original Manning face, courtesy of Peyton.

Title: "The Original"

Description: While you claim Eli is famous for his reactionary shots, the original Manning Face belongs to older brother Peyton. Peyton Manning created, honed and perfected the Manning Face during his time in Indy. He has since brought it with him to Denver.

The question is, of course, which Manning makes better faces?

Is it Peyton's resigned, thin-lipped mouth with scrunched forehead that emotes just the correct amount of disappointment and disdain in his team's failings, or is it Eli's normal, dead-eyed, blank stare (the crazy eyes shot not withstanding) that gives off the impression that he has no idea why things didn't go his way or the impression that he is not fully aware of how things even transpired?

What ha... happened and which Manning face wins?


DAN:
In the spirit of our photo series I'll first tell you what happened, then lay out the facts on which Manning makes the better face. As to 'The Original' and Peyton Manning's face, this particular iteration happened after a fruitless effort to converse with his former head coach Jim Caldwell. Its well known that Jim Caldwell may not in fact be alive. At the very least, speaking to him is like talking to a wax statue with the occasional mumble or grunt. Peyton Manning's stone face, meet Jim Caldwell's waxy goodness. Much like rubber and glue, nothing Manning could every say got through to his coach. A classic grimace resulted. That's what happened.

Now the real debate, Eli Manning's doe eyed deer face versus Peyton Manning's stink eyed face.

Although the original from Peyton came first and is unique in its own right, Eli wins HANDS DOWN. His ability to look lost amid both blunder and success is unparalleled in the sports world today. He looked the same in Monday's photo, getting sacked, as he did when he threw the infamous 'Helmet Catch' pass to David Tyree in the Superbowl that led to a touchdown and the defeat of the New England Patriots. That look, the Eli Manning face, is where fear meets shock and confusion in the perfect storm of eye's wide open. And yes Patriots fans, I just utilized a small scalpel to scrape apart the scar over the wound left by that defeat and a lost perfect season. Cue the evil laughter. Muahaha.

Eli Manning wins. Again.





No comments:

Post a Comment