Thursday, July 25, 2013

"Kids love Soccer too" - What ha... happened (July Part two)


"Kids love Soccer too" - What ha... happened (July Part two)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (7-25-13)

[Part one - There are fans and there are FANS]



One day early this week! Off next week and back with football in August.

"What ha... happened," where we scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Thursday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?



TODD:
I present to you the following.

Photo: Kicking things up even further... soccer style.

Title: "Kids love soccer too!"

Description: You take your ambiguous photo of adults pretending to be fans and I'll stick with the children. Kids always say what is on their mind. No sugarcoating necessary. And here is a perfect example. When a call goes against this little tyke, he shows the ref what he thinks of him. And if I spoke whatever language the little guy is fluent in (because it is obviously not English since he is a soccer fan), I'm sure I would get an earful of perfectly eloquent foreign swearing. Just adorable.

He's mad at the refs, right? Not one of those racist soccer hooligans in its early stages, bombarding black players with slurs? We can all appreciate a fan spewing hate at a man wearing stripes, but otherwise we have to draw the line. You tell me though, what ha... happened?


DAN:
I have to hand it to you, this little tyke is definitely a tiny terror. Logic would dictate he's imitating his father, who must be thrusting both middle fingers in the air while spitting on the heads of the opposing fans sitting in front of him. Right? This is beyond any logic. This kid be crazy!

This deranged soccer fan is not imitating anyone, he's full on pissed at the red card being dolled out on the field. And you know what came next. He launched his juice box as far as his baby arms could throw it, plucking the opposing team's coach in the head. And the blood on his face? War paint baby, war paint.

When getting into a soccer brawl, I recommend having one of these tiny pricks on your side. His head is at crotch level, perfect for a sneak attack head butt to the groin. Got him! His last victim was a bleeder.







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