Superbowl? Heck no its Harbaugh Bowl !
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (2-1-13)
DAN:
With two full weeks to prepare for the big game, as a Harbaugh I would devote at least one full day of preparation to breaking down my sibling's tendencies, faults, habits and insecurities. My brother breakdown day would go something like this:I'm Jim Harbaugh, since he was a favorite player of mine growing up. I loved watching him as QB of the Colts, with Marshall Faulk rolling out into the flat to catch a pass and scamper into the end zone. So, first hour, what are John's biggest fears? These must, MUST, be made into giant posters to be held at midfield by a bunch of crazy fans. John is afraid of spiders, well guess what is going on a monster piece of cardboard, a tarantula. John hates Bruce Springsteen, well guess what music I'm playing as my team runs out of the tunnel. This has endless possibilities! Hour two would focus on how and why John panics. We know he is a great coach, but during his teen years playing backyard football if you kicked him while he was down then he would totally freak out and do something irrational. Perhaps that celebration penalty after a touchdown is worth it after all. And kick it onside just to make it really sting.
Okay, now you're John. What do you do?
TODD:
This is sounding like the plot of the movie Waterboy: the overbearing coach of the opponent striking fear into the heart and mind of the poor, lovable loser coach. Everyone agrees John is the "lovable" Harbaugh, right? And he is obviously the loser in this. All we need now is John going into the locker room at halftime and imagining Jim as a cuddly baby.More important than even the brother battle is what will happen if the Ravens lose. They have been riding this Ray Lewis euphoria for weeks now, playing above their heads and getting a legitimate rich-man's-Eli-Manning performance out of Joe Flacco. So what happens if it fails to produce a title and Ray Lewis suddenly doesn't want to retire on slightly lower than top? If he comes back, how big of a scandal would this be? He played with the emotions of an entire team and city. He announced his retirement as a ploy to invigorate his over-matched mates to play at a level they hadn't approached this decade. If he wants to play another year, it sours his relationship with them, makes him a fraud in the eyes of the public and minimizes the effect he has on the rest of the league, which still pictured him as an elite-level middle linebacker even though he hasn't been one in years.
A Ravens loss would be catastrophic, leading to the free agency of their star quarterback and either the retirement of the franchise's best player or the return of the franchise's best player after he swore he would retire.
Meanwhile, the 49ers weren't even supposed to peak until Kaepernick got a few seasons under his belt. I'm not sure Jim even needs to go through the weaknesses of his brother to find an edge in this game. With the best defense and running game in the league, he has ownership of the future of the NFL at his fingertips.
DAN:
You're right; a sequel to the Waterboy is long overdue. Get Adam Sandler on the phone. A Ravens loss won't be catastrophic for one simple reason; they are NOT expected to win. The 49ers are heavy, heavy favorites in my book. The Vegas line has the two teams slightly more even with Ravens +3.5 (doubt it's moved much), but there's no way the Ravens are looked at as the better team by any reasonable football mind. As you say, they are playing way over their heads and Joe "Football is Fun" Flacco hasn't earned my trust ever. Yes, he's playing for a new contract, but that didn't stop him from being boringly average all year.
As to your other two points. Flacco is a free agent regardless of the outcome and Mr. Ray Lewis already has a deal in place to join ESPN after the season. Even more rare than someone un-retiring is someone turning down a job at ESPN.
My hope, the Ravens lose so Flacco hits the open market and the Jets have a shot at him. And Ray Lewis puts his money where his super huge mouth is and delights us all on ESPN next fall. Go 49ers!
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