"Not all Swords are created Equal" - What ha... happened (June part two)

"Not all Swords are created Equal" - What ha... happened
(June part two)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (6-21-13)

[Part one - "Kick save and a Beauty"]



We scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Friday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?

This month we have GIFs!



DAN:
I present to you the following:

Photo: Fencing can be dangerous too.

Title: "Not all Swords are created Equal"

Description: When holding a grudge, its best to have a fencing match coming up. Who knew? But seriously, how bogus is it to swap out your toy sword for a real, large, sharp one? That's like wearing brass knuckles inside your boxing gloves, except you aren't hiding a thing. You're outright brandishing the thing. Take that!

This is no fair fight, its a slaughter. Why the foul play, the bloodshed and the tears? What ha... happened?


TODD:
Wait, so this is not what fencing looks like? Having never watched the "sport" before, I just assumed the guy with the bigger sword always won. And what's all this talk about not using brass knuckles during a boxing match? There hasn't been a clean boxing match since 1964. Everyone knows it's not on the level. They watch for entertainment; it's like professional wrestling. Which is what fencing seemed like: two guys with giant swords, swinging wildly at each other. It would have to be fixed or people would die, like, all the time.

I really have to bone up on my fringe sports' rules. So no giant scimitars allowed in fencing, check. No brass knuckles in boxing, check. Next thing you'll tell me is teams are not allowed to use motors during the America's Cup; they just somehow float down the water at tremendous speed on the strength of the wind alone...like a soft, sea zephyr could shove a giant yacht around. Gimme a break.

(GIF courtesy of SENORGIF.com)

[If you missed Part one - "Kick save and a Beauty"] 

What ha... happened?

What ha... happened?
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (2-11-13)


The debut of a new running segment on Seesaw Sports aptly titled What ha... happened? One Salem scours the internet for a crazy sports photo while the other Salem is left to explain what in hell happened here. On Friday we flip it with a new photo and an opposing Salem's view.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?

DAN:

I present to you the following, with added flames because they look cool:

Photo: A referee blatantly punching a member of the St. Louis Rams football team

Title: NFL Sucker Punch

Description: "If the defense won't stop him, I will. Too much money riding on this game."


What ha... happened?

TODD:

As is well documented in the history of sports, there are two and only two reasons why players get into fights: over a girl and over money.

I don't see why referees should be exempt from this. Your caption is spot on. So what happened?

There are two possible explanations for what happened here:

(1)  The St. Louis Rams' player mentioned to the referee, just before this photo was taken, something about the referee's wife and Honey Nut Cheerios (Kevin Garnett and Carmelo Anthony anyone?)

(2)  The St. Louis Rams' player wished to be put out of his misery, being on the Rams and all, and the referee happily obliged.  "I still get paid if I'm injured...  I'd like to thank my agent who got me this sick contract and my favorite ref, Micheal, for helping me to better enjoy the season."

In all seriousness, this photo is perplexing. My best guess for what ACTUALLY happened is that the running back came upon the referee suddenly and the man in stripes simply reached out an arm to brace for contact. A phantom punch, if you will. Either that or the ref really punched him and the angle makes it seem more severe than the situation actually warranted.

[New Photo. New explanation]