Sports Injuries: NFL Upside down & Changing expectations - Part two

Sports Injuries: NFL Upside down & Changing expectations - Part two
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (11-8-13)

[Part one - When stars fall]



DAN:
I was all ready to call this a coincidence, this rash of high profile NFL injuries in 2013. Then Aaron Rodgers went down on Monday Night Football. Sure, there are a ton of injuries every year in the NFL, but adding Rodgers' name to this season's list has pushed things off a cliff. Wow! Everything is working out for the underdog teams this season. I'm calling it now: Chiefs vs. Jets in the AFC Championship and Lions vs. Panthers in the NFC. Now THAT would be something.

Anyways, on the injury front itself, I think all of the injuries do mean something. But it has little to do with the game being played. There was a time when injuries were glorified, exciting and fun to watch. I'd say as recently as the late nineties when Madden football let you "knock a guy's head off", we as fans loved this stuff. A home plate collision in baseball was wonderful. It was the peak of in game excitement. In the NBA, two men crashing to the court brought cheers to the crowd. None of this is true any more. We don't want our stars, let alone any player, getting injured. No one should ever fall to the court, home plate collisions are feared, and anytime there's a big hit or a quarterback sack in the NFL, we are left holding our breath to see if the man can stand back up under his own free will. Sports fans have changed and now, left with nearly the same sport to watch, we don't enjoy things like we once did. Fantasy sports is just a small part of this change. Our society has moved dramatically away from violence and aggressive behavior being tolerated. We still enjoy it, when we know its fake. But sports are real life and no one wants to see anyone get hurt.

You mentioned putting numbers to the injuries. Can you please do this? If I start a Kickstarter fund to raise 2K bucks, is that enough to fund you over a month's worth of work? I SO want this information. ESPN has been keeping injury reports for some time now, so you can correlate that to team success based upon when stars fall. And then jump to the next season and see what transpired. This would revolutionize sports betting for the upcoming season. You'd know exactly which teams, that presumably sucked like the Red Sox did the year before, were bound to have a great year simply based on lack of injury. I actually see a board game in this information's future as well. You can draft a team of stars and then "injure" players on your opponent's team. Using real life wins and losses, you can reshape history!

Getting a bit further off topic, why are there no fun sports based board games? The closest we ever got were those silly trivia games that are impossible to play with a non sports fan. Fantasy sports is pick up a play. Can't we get a monopoly style game where everyone is an NFL General Manager or something. Come on Matel.


TODD:
I thought you laughed and mocked me for my Carolina Panthers NFC pick back in our 2013 predictions. Now who looks stupid?

You are right about the wussification of the American public though. 'JACKED UP' used to be a weekly segment on NFL studio shows, where commentators gleefully cheered at players receiving concussions. (Not literally but essentially.) There used to be a button in Madden video games called the 'hit stick' which was used to jack people up. I actually cannot confirm whether this still exists, as I have not bought an edition of Madden in a long while, but I feel like it probably does not. And now, every time anyone sees a big hit, you are exactly right, the first reaction is in concern for the decapitated and whether or not the play deserved to be penalized.

Very few, if any hits are ever celebrated nowadays. It seems awkward to do so. So I will patiently await my $2,000 grant to research the injury epidemic and make everyone aware of my findings in the near future. Until then, we will be forced to watch a Monday Night Football game between the legendary Packers and Bears where the starting quarterback battle is between Seneca Wallace and Josh McCown.

Also, this is 2013. What's a board game?


DAN:
I've come around on the Panthers. I always believed Cam Newton had it in him, but Carolina is playing defense and former contenders are dropping like flies. Also, its now 2013 and I'm all about Thursday Night and Sunday Night Football. What's this Monday Night Football you speak of? Kidding, kidding.

Board games are contraptions made of card board, processed trees, that consume hours of your life. They require you to have at least three to five friends or subservient family members and always lead to argument and unnecessary bragging. They are analogous to the play ground in middle school, yet everyone starts on even ground and the smart / lucky person wins. Strength is removed from the equation.

To wrap things up on the sports injury front, there is only one thing I know for certain. All of the major professional sports are getting safer and we are going to still feel, year after year, that there are a TON of injuries to our favorite players. This is the deal. The players make it when they continue to play a sport past their early twenties when their bodies no longer recover the same way. And we the fans make this deal when we decide to devote heart and soul, sweat and tears, to our team's success during the season.

Unless sports become a virtual endeavor with no actual, physical competition, there will be injuries and lots of them. From a fantasy sports perspective, this frickin sucks. Its bad enough to lose a fantasy football matchup by a fraction of a point (I've lost two weeks this year by 0.2 points). But when your star player is injured, or worse, they are playing through a minor injury that simply hampers his or her production, your team is pretty much screwed. They have spray on band aids now. I want spray on bone and ligament healing. Thank you science.

[If you missed Part one - When stars fall]

Fan Focus: Storming the Court - Part two

Fan Focus: Storming the Court - Part two
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (9-13-13)

[Part one - Fan Etiquette on the Road]



DAN:
Let's start with a few safe assumptions for court storming. First off, the game must be over. Secondly, your team must have won the game. I'm calling these assumptions, because if either of those two don't apply then the court storming party is being an ass.

Rules for storming the court:

1 - You are under the age of 30.

Storming the court should be strictly limited to the young crowd. Its not proper for a sixty year old man to rush the field. But a group of college kids at the game? Hell yes!

2 - Your team has just executed a significant victory.

Significant is defined as playoff clinching, a playoff victory, championship victory, or major regular season upset. Major is defined as an unranked team defeating a ranked opponent.

Did you enjoy my analytical approach? I was going to add in a rule about being drunk, but no need to exclude the crazy sober crowd. I think if you're ranked, in the top 25, then its not a major victory to defeat the top team. Its big, but not court storming big. Since this act is almost exclusive to college sports (its illegal in the pros or something), we need to make sure it counts. Otherwise the fans would storm after every victory in order to turn the game into a giant party.


TODD:
Obviously I have no problem with your assumptions or your first rule. Your team has to have won, no question; and this is indeed a young man's game. No elderly.

Number two is where things get sketchy. You tried to map out what entails a significant victory but you did not cover nearly enough. And you also ventured into the wrong territory. Playoff and championship wins are rarely, if ever, played on someone's home court anymore. So that's one problem. And if the favorite wins a playoff game, should their fans rush the playing field? I say no.

Really the only allowable rushing occurs at regular season, big wins. Now you defined this as an unranked team defeating a ranked team. But this is pretty baseless. Should a top 40 program really rush the field if they take down the 25th ranked team in the country? That would be ludicrous. And even if your program is down on its luck, should the fans really rush the court if they beat a highly-ranked but lowly university, like say if Auburn football beat TCU? Sure TCU is a much better team these days but whose program would you really rather be a part of? Auburn wins that war and its fans should rush nothing. They have a recent national championship for heaven's sake!

It is hard to cover every example and situation with a blanket rule because there will always be exceptions. But a court-storming has to have a few factors:

- The team has to be the underdog
- They have to be under appreciated in some way, either historically or in that specific matchup (i.e. NC State vs. UNC basketball)
- They cannot have won a title, national or conference, in the last 7 years
- They cannot be ranked in any poll
- The vanquished squad has to be either very highly ranked now or historically highly thought of

If one of these factors is missing, don't do it kids. It makes your school look petty and childish, like you don't have any sense of where your team sits nationally. Take pride in your university; don't embarrass yourselves.


DAN:
Wow, way to crap on the party. By your logic, Duke should never storm the court after any victory, ever. You're completely wrong on this! If Duke goes undefeated in the regular season, hell yes the fans should storm the court. If they win the ACC title or National Championship, hell yes they should storm the court. In those last two scenarios the fans would be out of town, so even better. Trash someone else's arena!

This brings up a fun counterpoint. Is it okay to storm the court after victory has been snatched from your fingertips? Storming in anger that is. I had winning as an assumption, but its worth asking. Or is it okay to storm after someone on the team sets a national record?

I've never had the pleasure of storming a court. But it seems to me like anything goes. I'm envisioning the tiny Asian girl getting pushed around, or having to climb on her friend's shoulders so as not to get swallowed by the mob.

Give me your best/worst experience as a fan on the road. Tie this topic up in a nice pretty bow.


TODD:
You are correct; Duke fans should never storm the court, ever. But Duke students know this is the deal. They are smart students; smart, jerky, asshole students.

And in what scenario would a cluster of Duke fans storm the court for a National Championship that's being played in, say, Atlanta? Not only would they not be allowed on the court (college sports do have security and police, but they let it go if the ENTIRE arena charges them, not for a group of 30 kids), but it would look foolish even if they did. Storming the court is only cool if the court is flooded with members of the crowd, not spattered with them.

And really? Storming the court after a loss?? No. Victory was your first assumption and its a good one. Storming in anger is not cool and does not happen and storming for a player accomplishment would never happen either. The game would probably be stopped for a moment as it happened if it was that big of a deal, but nothing afterwards seems warranted.

I have stormed the playing surface before, both at basketball and football. It is a joyous time...for the first six or seven minutes. After those few minutes pass, it seems awkward and you are wondering when everyone is going to leave. So it's definitely an overrated action, but that only backs up why it should be saved for proper occasions. If you attend Duke, this occasion will not come up, and really, you chose Duke out of any school in the country?? How douchey of you.

As for being a fan on the road, I have never had the opportunity that I can recall. I am sure I've seen the Yankees play in some stadium other than their own, but nothing happened. It was so uneventful I cannot even remember it happening. That's baseball for you.

I have seen my alma mater football and basketball squads in neutral sites though, for whatever that's worth. What happens at neutral site games is that local sports fans end up snatching cheap tickets prior to the event and just are obnoxious to anyone rooting for either team actually playing. This happened when I saw Virginia Tech play in the Orange Bowl a few years back. The locals from Miami just got on us whenever something went against the Hokies. They didn't even care who won. It was bizarre.

[If you missed Part one - Fan Etiquette on the Road]

Fan Focus: Etiquette on the Road - Part one

Fan Focus: Etiquette on the Road - Part one
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (9-9-13)



DAN:
With the height of baseball season colliding perfectly with the start of the NFL calendar, let's take a long hard look at the fans for a moment. Fan Focus, telling you how not to be an ass for over ten years (length of time may be embellished).

Today I want to talk about stadium / ball park / arena etiquette. And not for the home crowd. They basically get to do whatever the hell they want. Its their team, their turf and their rules. I'm talking about watching your team play on the road, in the enemies backyard. Their are rules people and things to avoid so as not to get stabbed.

Do you have much experience with seeing your teams on the road? I've been watching the Yankees play the Angels out here in Anaheim for eight years running. Its an incredibly delightful experience and nothing like when I went to watch my New York Jets play the Patriots in Foxboro. I've seen the Celtics here in Los Angeles play the Clippers as well. Each sport is slightly different, but the rules don't change.

I'll start with rule number one and you can call me an idiot for bringing this up and give me rule number two.

First rule of fandom on the road; sit on the visiting side of the field. For baseball this is pretty easy to do, but with football its much greyer. My experience watching the Jets in New England brought me face to face with the roudy drunk Masshole Pats fan. I was in the upper deck, around plenty of Jets fans, but far outnumbered none the less. I wore a Jets hat, but nothing else. I felt that was respectful. Gotta show team spirit, but no need to rub it in on the road. But when I cheered on my team I found myself all too close to several fights, with beer thrown in my general direction. It was cold outside, bitter cold, too cold to tell if the beer actually hit me. Stupid bleeping Patriots fans.


TODD:
Road fan etiquette, as you hinted at, has almost nothing to do with the actions of the specific road fan. It has everything to do with the home environment the actions are taking place in. As you said, you got heckled and harassed just for wearing a Jets hat in Gillette Stadium. We hear stories of fans getting beaten up and sent to the hospital seemingly every season just for being fans of the opposing team. Perhaps those certain people were rowdy and inciting anger from the home crowd, but that is still no reason to cripple someone. I think no matter the actions, it is dangerous to be an opposing fan in certain locales. That is just the sad state of present sports fandom.

So first rule of road fan etiquette altered: only be an opposing fan in weak home parks, i.e. Atlanta basketball, Jacksonville football, etc. This way, not only will the crowd as a whole be sparse, but the likelihood of home fans rallying up enough to cause you fear or harm is limited.

The ironic part is these types of crowds are considered bad fan bases. You glossed over home crowd responsibility, but I want to go back to that. Home crowds have some etiquette of their own. The obvious ones exist:

- Don't cheer loudly at a home football game when your team is on offense
- Don't start a wave at a baseball game; it makes your fans look disinterested and childish
- Don't yell randomly when your basketball team is shooting free throws

These are the easy ones. The grey area that most often comes up for home crowds though, for collegiate sports at least, is when to charge the field/court. When is it okay to leap from the stands onto the playing field after a victory? If you topple the number one team in the country, this seems warranted. But what if you are the number eight team in the country? Does it not then seem a bit silly?

This has been dissected before on other platforms, but I am never quite content with the results. What should be the requirements for when a home, collegiate crowd can rush the court?


DAN:
Way to skip rule number two and jump right on the home team. But I LOVE that you brought up the wave as a major red flag for home teams. This ties nicely into my second rule.

The second rule for road fans; go watch your team in a fan friendly venue. One of my absolute favorite spots to go watch the Yankees is at Angels' Stadium in Anaheim. Angels' fans are really great, nice, inviting and just positive all around. They have the Rally Monkey and home run fireworks, but aren't dicks about you cheering for the opposition. Plus, when the Yankees are in town the stadium is at least 1/3 full of Yankees fans. Win!

But guess what else happens ALL the TIME in Angels' stadium? The wave! They do the wave a ton in that ballpark. Granted its practically at Disney Land so being childish is not unexpected. But they love the wave and I love visiting that ballpark.

Now to the hard question. What are the rules for rushing the court, storming the field, rushing the mound? I have only two.

[Part two - Storming the Court]

"Kids love Soccer too" - What ha... happened (July Part two)

"Kids love Soccer too" - What ha... happened (July Part two)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (7-25-13)

[Part one - There are fans and there are FANS]



One day early this week! Off next week and back with football in August.

"What ha... happened," where we scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Thursday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?



TODD:
I present to you the following.

Photo: Kicking things up even further... soccer style.

Title: "Kids love soccer too!"

Description: You take your ambiguous photo of adults pretending to be fans and I'll stick with the children. Kids always say what is on their mind. No sugarcoating necessary. And here is a perfect example. When a call goes against this little tyke, he shows the ref what he thinks of him. And if I spoke whatever language the little guy is fluent in (because it is obviously not English since he is a soccer fan), I'm sure I would get an earful of perfectly eloquent foreign swearing. Just adorable.

He's mad at the refs, right? Not one of those racist soccer hooligans in its early stages, bombarding black players with slurs? We can all appreciate a fan spewing hate at a man wearing stripes, but otherwise we have to draw the line. You tell me though, what ha... happened?


DAN:
I have to hand it to you, this little tyke is definitely a tiny terror. Logic would dictate he's imitating his father, who must be thrusting both middle fingers in the air while spitting on the heads of the opposing fans sitting in front of him. Right? This is beyond any logic. This kid be crazy!

This deranged soccer fan is not imitating anyone, he's full on pissed at the red card being dolled out on the field. And you know what came next. He launched his juice box as far as his baby arms could throw it, plucking the opposing team's coach in the head. And the blood on his face? War paint baby, war paint.

When getting into a soccer brawl, I recommend having one of these tiny pricks on your side. His head is at crotch level, perfect for a sneak attack head butt to the groin. Got him! His last victim was a bleeder.

[Part one - There are fans and there are FANS]

"There are fans and there are FANS" - What ha... happened (July Part one)

"There are fans and there are FANS" - What ha... happened (July Part one)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (7-22-13)



We partied really hard at the wedding this weekend, so its fitting to follow up with "What ha... happened." Ah, memories. Part two will come early on Thursday and a hiatus next week for the honeymoon. Woo!

"What ha... happened," where we scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Thursday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?



DAN:
I present to you the following.

Photo: Let's kick things up a notch. There are fans and there are FANS.

Title: "Women love baseball too!"

Description: I'm not saying its love and devotion, but its the only explanation I could come up with. Well, silly me, that's your job. Full on french kissing the Phillies' mascot. Check! Sexy in doing so. Check check! Having the Philly Phanatic make you his bitch. Unintended consequence?

You tell me. What ha... happened?


TODD:
I have to tell you, you are way off on this. You missed all the warning signs too. A female baseball fan this devoted seems fishy. But one who would root for the Phillies is downright improbable. What happened was this poor soul lost a bet.

Most people bet for money or for some kind of reimbursement. If you win, I get a week in your summer home but if I win...etc. It is just as feasible though that people would bet their bodies, for lack of a better phrase. Loser has to get a very embarrassing tattoo! Or, loser has to go to second base with the Philly Phanatic. This woman has rounded first and is well on her way to a double.

To add insult to injury, this clear loser had to do so in Phillies garb and then had to attend an actual Phillies baseball game. So, so sad.

At least whoever they lost the bet to didn't make them go to Citi Field. That would have been going too far.

[Part two coming Thursday - Kids love Soccer too]

"Not all Swords are created Equal" - What ha... happened (June part two)

"Not all Swords are created Equal" - What ha... happened
(June part two)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (6-21-13)

[Part one - "Kick save and a Beauty"]



We scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Friday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?

This month we have GIFs!



DAN:
I present to you the following:

Photo: Fencing can be dangerous too.

Title: "Not all Swords are created Equal"

Description: When holding a grudge, its best to have a fencing match coming up. Who knew? But seriously, how bogus is it to swap out your toy sword for a real, large, sharp one? That's like wearing brass knuckles inside your boxing gloves, except you aren't hiding a thing. You're outright brandishing the thing. Take that!

This is no fair fight, its a slaughter. Why the foul play, the bloodshed and the tears? What ha... happened?


TODD:
Wait, so this is not what fencing looks like? Having never watched the "sport" before, I just assumed the guy with the bigger sword always won. And what's all this talk about not using brass knuckles during a boxing match? There hasn't been a clean boxing match since 1964. Everyone knows it's not on the level. They watch for entertainment; it's like professional wrestling. Which is what fencing seemed like: two guys with giant swords, swinging wildly at each other. It would have to be fixed or people would die, like, all the time.

I really have to bone up on my fringe sports' rules. So no giant scimitars allowed in fencing, check. No brass knuckles in boxing, check. Next thing you'll tell me is teams are not allowed to use motors during the America's Cup; they just somehow float down the water at tremendous speed on the strength of the wind alone...like a soft, sea zephyr could shove a giant yacht around. Gimme a break.

(GIF courtesy of SENORGIF.com)

[If you missed Part one - "Kick save and a Beauty"] 

"Kick save and a Beauty" - What ha... happened? (June part one)

"Kick save and a Beauty" - What ha... happened? 
(June part one)
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (6-17-13)



We scour the internet for a crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: Opening statement. Friday: Rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?

This month we have GIFs!



TODD:
I present to you the following:

 

Photo: All women's sports should be this much fun.

Title: "Kick save and a Beauty"

Description: Who knew?!? Apparently the phrase "Kick save and a Beauty" is not just for ice hockey. This volleyballer made a nice diving kick to, we assume, save the point for her team. But even if they didn't manage the return, who cares? It was still damn impressive. Go ladies!

Two immediate questions come to mind:

(1) Be honest, were you aware that players were allowed to use their feet in volleyball?

(2) Can you find me a better GIF of someone stretching the limits of a sport?

My answer to both is 'I doubt it.' But go for it and tell me what ha... happened?


DAN:
Honesty, huh? I had NO idea you could kick the ball in volleyball. I thought it was bump, set, spike, but kick! Haha, that's awesome.

I'd argue this is hardly stretching the limits of the sport if its just part of the game, albeit a rarity. But don't you worry. I have a few GIFs up my sleeve.

As for what happened?

Not everyone is fortunate enough to make the Olympic soccer team. That may be the pinnacle of women's team sports in the Olympics and this lady was the odd woman out. She is a super star athlete however and turned to her second love, volleyball. Not beach volleyball, that's for showoffs, but regular street volleyball. Instincts are instincts, and instead of diving head first to bump the ball with her hands, a sweet slide and kick save was enacted. I'm hoping it was for success!

(GIF courtesy of Sbnation)

[Part two - "Not all Swords are created Equal"]

Derek Jeter: Gone or Just resting - Part one

Derek Jeter: Gone or Just resting - Part one
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (6-3-13)



TODD:
Unpopular opinion alert: Derek Jeter is probably not playing this season. He has had setback after setback. His return date jumped from April to May to July to no timetable. The captain may not have an at-bat this season...which logically brings us to this harsh reality: Jeter may not play again.

Of course he's a Hall of Famer. His numbers are good; his postseason accolades are historic. His career outlook is not at risk if he never takes another swing. My question, Yankee fan to Yankee fan, is whether this possibility bothers you.

Now clearly not having a starting shortstop on your favorite club is troublesome. That's not what I mean. Does the fact that Derek Jeter may retire (and that Mo Rivera IS going to retire) bother you? You are certainly aware at this point of my ice cold heart and stony demeanor. I never become attached to players. The Yankees could trade Robinson Cano tomorrow and I wouldn't mind as long as the haul made them better off. But you never broached the analytic approach as far as I.

If Derek Jeter cannot play baseball anymore for the New York Yankees, how will that make you feel?


DAN:
My entire adult life has consisted of Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera in pinstripes. I have a vague memory of Don Mattingly playing for the Yankees, but my first true memories of our team come from 1996 and year the Yankees won their first World Series of my lifetime. I'm definitely blessed to barely recall a time before our team was dominant as hell, but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. What does make Jeter's absence bearable is Mariano's dominance during his swan song of a season.

We know this is Rivera's final season and can enjoy it for everything it is. His greatness continues on and that continues to be absolutely amazing. On the flip side is Derek Jeter, who I assumed would take the field for at least another half year. Until you threw the facts in my face, I still expected him to return by August 1st. But if he is done, done, then I'm sad.

Its one thing to watch your team's captain and former best player, knowing he is going to retire. Its quite another to realize that the year before was his final season and nothing more is coming. If I'm being honest, I was surprised how well he played in 2012. He blew up expectations and destroyed any notion I had of his demise. But reality is here now and I'm not surprised he's on the bench. I would be shocked, however, if he didn't make at least a few plate appearances in September and the post season.

On a side note, how amazing is it for Jeter to be a Yankee, not from a fan's perspective, but from a player's? They are basically paying him this entire season to rehab an injury, knowing full well that he is about to retire. I don't think any other team does this, no matter the caliber of player. They should really name him an honorary bench coach and have him dress for the games. Not a mascot in the literal sense, but definitely a mascot! I would love that.


TODD:
Even though I have no heart or loyalty to specific players and my blood runs cold as the River Styx, I do agree that watching Rivera play out his final year knowing he will retire is more pleasant than waiting on Jeter's future. But really the nice feeling is 98% derived from the fact that he is playing so well. If Rivera turned into Fernando Rodney, I'd probably wish he was out rehabbing a devastating injury.

But with Rivera's future announced and Jeter's so up in the air, the Yankees have a different feel to them. The other injuries on the team play a large part in this as well. We didn't expect to still see Travis Hafner, Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay playing in June. However, despite any injuries or whatnot, this is Robinson Cano's team. What now happens if the Yankees are not able to re-sign him? He is a free agent at year's end and will be asking for a lot, I mean A LOT, a ton, a great ton of money. With the Yankees' self-appointed salary cap ceiling for 2014, it is at least possible Cano does not wear pinstripes next season. What then?

[Part two - A new era in New York]

More What ha... happened? - March edition

More What ha... happened? - March edition
by Dan Salem and Todd Salem (3-22-13)

[Monday's What ha... happened?]



We scour the internet for crazy sports photo and someone must try to explain it. Seesaw Sports asks what ha... happened? Monday: opening statements. Friday: rebuttal.

Real photos. Real results. But what in the heck happened?

DAN:

I present to you the following:

Photo: Baseball in the face!

Title: "Don't mess with the Philly Phanatic."

Description: Its not enough that the Phillies stink, or that their fans are incessant booing machines. Now the Philly Phanatic, their beloved mascot, has turned on the team as well. Baseball in the face!

Was it the mascot, or something more sinister? You tell me, what ha...happened?

TODD:

The baseball comes at the batter, Mr. Jimmy Rollins, from a very odd angle here. If it had come from the pitcher, it would have struck him in the ear hole. If it had come from the catcher, it would have struck him in the back of the head. But no, the ball makes contact square in the face, seemingly coming from the stands between home plate and first base. What!

This is the key factor in deciphering what happened. Some pictures are hard to pinpoint, but Jimmy Rollins getting hit in the face with a baseball is almost self-explanatory: One of the aforementioned booing machines, as you so aptly named them, threw it at him! Go Phillies!

Most fans at baseball games try to collect foul balls for an autograph or to give to their child, or something heartwarming like that. Not Phillies' fans though. Oh, hell no. They scoop up foul balls with one thing in mind and that's who to throw it at later. If the owner's box was at field level it would be protected like the Pope-mobile, but since the booing machines can't peg the owners with foul balls, only the players are left to choose from.

Jimmy Rollins is an obvious choice to get hit in the face. He's a player Philadelphia should be cherishing as his career winds down, but instead is getting turned on because he isn't as good as he used to be, or as good as they want/need him to be. Thus: Smack! Ball in the face.

Sorry Jimmy; former league MVPs deserve better. I hope your nose is okay.

[Monday's What ha... happened?]